You May Be a Firefighter If....

(Some of these only volunteers will get)

You have ever juggled hot coals with your gloves.

If your house is on fire and you still respond to the station

You have ever slept in a hosebed.

You take pride in the fact that you haven't washed your gear in years.

Ifyou can hear that the siren will go off even before your dog notices it.

If you have ever been awakened with a CO2 extinguisher

You have ever spent 10 min trying to force open a door only to have someone come along and open it by turning the handle.

You've ever clung to the air horn chord for dear life because the driver is insane.

You have ever played jingle bells at Xmas time on the air horns to clear traffic.

You have ever said, "she's hot tonight" and not been talking about a girl.

You have ever stomped out a fire with your boots because you couldn't wait for water.

You are caught on the back of a truck with your girlfriend or wife in the middle of something and the page goes out for a call.

If the smell of a fire excites you more than sex does.

You really think that rusty old hydrant looks good in the garden.

You can blame the 10 lbs that you've gained on the food cooked at the station.

If you play with the fire toys more than your child does.

You've ever felt like a ghost-buster while operating a water-vac

You get excited over the color red and the smell of diesel

You can tell what type of fire it is by the smell of smoke 10 miles away.

You have ever been airborne without an aircraft and water was your thrust.

You double your weight every time you go on a job

You have ever called a person found after a fire a "crispy critter"

You have ever walked 3 miles into the woods in 100 degree heat in full turnout gear and a 5 gal or more water can strapped on your back just to put out a fire.

You carry enough in your car to extinguish a minor blaze.

When you go to rent a movie, and they insist on getting Backdraft EVERY TIME!

If a great stop has nothing do with a moving vehicle.

The microwave goes off and you run out of the house thinking it was your pager.

You walk into the station with you belt on and someone yells here comes batman

If nine out of the ten toys your child receives for Christmas are fire trucks

If you wash your Fire Truck more than your personal vehicle.

You call your friend in Maryland, you live in Nevada, and get jealous and turned on at the same time when he gets toned out

Your idea of a good time involves soaking the new probies.

You lay out your clothes from that day so if there is a call at night you can find them quickly.

You ever cursed out someone for armor-alling the seats to make them look nice.

You roll around in anything that just burned to make your new gear look old.

If assembling a mile and a half of hose to catch fire running up hill is a good day.

All your friends give you t-shirts from their departments for your birthday, Christmas, anniversary, etc.

If your wife voluntarily chooses the lumpy side of the bed to avoid being trampled in route to a call!

Your wife/girlfriend has learned to duck and cover when she hears the pager go off for fear of being run down

If you had to extricate someone by cutting the car doors off on one side and realized there was nothing wrong with the doors on the other side

If you have more toy fire trucks than your kids do.

You take your other half out on a date to the fire house/hall.

If you want to keep the fire truck at your house just so that you can be the one to drive it!

When you wish some Fragrance manufacturer would bottle the burnt smell after a fire and used as a men's spray cologne.

Your idea of ventilation is done with a chainsaw and not a bag-valve-mask.

You have a wreck with the fire chief on the way to the fire trying to beat him there

You've been called a nozzle hog.

You respond to the fire station during a thunder storm - in case there's a fire started by lightening.

You stay in town during the 4th of July - in case there's a fire started by fireworks.

You refer to a room at 1300 F as "Toasty".

You respond to sound better than Pavlov's Dog.

The term "Hard Suction" doesn't make you chuckle

If your idea of a water fight includes a 100ft. tower with dual monitors, and several shots of 2.5 inch lines

If "humping hose" doesn't excite you.

You've ever stood on a street corner holding a bunker boot asking for donations

You monitor other city's fire dispatch and miss a call for your own.

If someone starts reciting movie lines from "Backdraft" at a fire.

You have ever had a heated debate over the color of firetrucks.

You take great joy in smashing the windows of a car parked in a fire zone or in front of a hydrant.
You always wear red suspenders.

You carry enough in your pockets to give the Swiss army knives competition.

Your Own vehicle has more lights than a Christmas tree

You find yourself living at the fire department 365 days a year!

If you have more pagers than than money in your wallet.

If you have ever woken up thinking your pager went off and as you look at it, it goes off

If you have ever dried your gloves on the trucks exhaust

When you take all of your important stuff (like wallets and pagers) out of your pockets before going to a training involving a portable tank.

You eat till you're asleep, then sleep till you eat.

You spend more time on a holiday with you're fellow firefighter than you do with you're family.

You refer to yourself as Satan and the fire as your house

You run towards a dangerous situation instead of away

If you ever said that real fire trucks/engines are RED DAMMIT!!!!

If you are running in the opposite direction of everyone else

When you are the mother of the bride and you tell everyone in the wedding party, nobody moves when the pagers go off during the ceremony.

You have ever taken 10 or more showers in 1 day.

"Climbing the corporate ladder" has nothing to do with career advancement.

Your work gear makes you sound like Darth Vader

All the shirts you own say you are a firefighter

You talk about alcohol foams and you are not referring to the head of your beer.

You have ever dressed from head to foot in rubber and it was not a sexual experience.

All of your calenders have every third day circled.

If you collect fire helmets and hang them on your bedroom wall and so far have one of each color.

You always wear red suspenders

You ever tried to patent a 911 blocker with the phone company

If you have ever tested your gloves by putting a fuzzie out on your hand.

As usual if there are any I missed feel free to leave a comment. Or if there is one you don't understand I will get an explanation!