Going 4-wheeling means your old lady has her own bike.
Your gloves don't have any fingers.
You prefer to pee outside.
Rock-and-roll is the only kind of music.
You treat your leather better than your woman.
You ride instead of walk down the aisle.
You wash your bike more than you wash yourself.
You pass out with a beer in your hand without spilling a drop, and finish drinking it when you wake up in the morning.
Your beer preference is BEER.
You think Jack Daniels is your best friend.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
The Tranny Is Here!
No I don't mean a man in woman clothes! Fedex dropped her off yesterday.
Back view, never to be seen again once the rear wheel is on.
The big picture so far. Yes that's tinsel.Don't ask.
Next up is the belt drive. After that a front end. Then this projects pace will pick up dramatically. I need to have a complete rolling chassis by April 1st so it can be torn down painted, reassembled and be ride able by July 4. You can help make this possible! Click the donation button on the top of the page or buy a shirt today!
Right side drive pulley. Although it will probably have to be swapped out for a sprocket because the distance to the rear pulley will not be stock and I don't know where or if anyone makes custom belts. I would rather have a belt because it is quieter and cleaner but I may not have a choice.
Back view, never to be seen again once the rear wheel is on.The big picture so far. Yes that's tinsel.Don't ask.
Next up is the belt drive. After that a front end. Then this projects pace will pick up dramatically. I need to have a complete rolling chassis by April 1st so it can be torn down painted, reassembled and be ride able by July 4. You can help make this possible! Click the donation button on the top of the page or buy a shirt today!
Thursday, December 4, 2008
New Tshirt Designs Are Here!
The new tshrit designs are in a ready to go. Since the sale of tshirts has been going on at such a hectic pace(not), these designs will remain up until the new year. Makes a great gift for me and someone you love!
Check out both new designs they will rotate between the value tshirt and regular tshirts
Check out both new designs they will rotate between the value tshirt and regular tshirtsTuesday, December 2, 2008
Standing Orders For Christmas!
Military Christmas Orders
Subject Official Command Visit
This office has been informed of an official visit by Gen. Santa Claus to this base on 25 December. The following directives will govern activities of personnel during this visit.
1. No creatures will stir without official permission. This will include all native mice. Special stirring permits will be obtained through the orderly room.
2. Personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap prior to 220 hours. Uniform for nap pajamas, cotton, light drowsing, with kerchief, general purpose.
3. Personnel will utilize standard ration sugarplums to dance through their heads. This item may be picked up in the orderly room.
4. Stockings, wool, cushion sole, will be hung by chimneys with care. Necessary safety precautions will be taken to avoid fires. Individual sections will submit stocking-hanging plans to Capt. Kringle by 0800 hours, 22 December.
5. At first sign of clatter from lawn, all personnel will spring from their beds to investigate and evaluate cause. Immediate action will be taken to tear open shutters and throw open window sashes.
6. Volunteers are needed to drive one sleigh, miniature, and eight (8) deer, rein, tiny, for use of Gen. Claus. Driver must have current rooftop license.
7. Gen. Claus will enter all sections through chimneys. Sections without chimneys will draw a Chimney Simulator from Link Services for use during ceremonies. Requests must be submitted in triplicate prior to 20 December.
8. All personnel will be rehearsed in shouting "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night." This shout will be given upon termination of Gen. Claus' visit. Uniformity of shouting is the responsibility of all section chiefs.
-- (signed) Ebenezer Scrooge, Colonel, USAF, Commander
Subject Official Command Visit
This office has been informed of an official visit by Gen. Santa Claus to this base on 25 December. The following directives will govern activities of personnel during this visit.
1. No creatures will stir without official permission. This will include all native mice. Special stirring permits will be obtained through the orderly room.
2. Personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap prior to 220 hours. Uniform for nap pajamas, cotton, light drowsing, with kerchief, general purpose.
3. Personnel will utilize standard ration sugarplums to dance through their heads. This item may be picked up in the orderly room.
4. Stockings, wool, cushion sole, will be hung by chimneys with care. Necessary safety precautions will be taken to avoid fires. Individual sections will submit stocking-hanging plans to Capt. Kringle by 0800 hours, 22 December.
5. At first sign of clatter from lawn, all personnel will spring from their beds to investigate and evaluate cause. Immediate action will be taken to tear open shutters and throw open window sashes.
6. Volunteers are needed to drive one sleigh, miniature, and eight (8) deer, rein, tiny, for use of Gen. Claus. Driver must have current rooftop license.
7. Gen. Claus will enter all sections through chimneys. Sections without chimneys will draw a Chimney Simulator from Link Services for use during ceremonies. Requests must be submitted in triplicate prior to 20 December.
8. All personnel will be rehearsed in shouting "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night." This shout will be given upon termination of Gen. Claus' visit. Uniformity of shouting is the responsibility of all section chiefs.
-- (signed) Ebenezer Scrooge, Colonel, USAF, Commander
Joke of the Whenever...
The Biker's Night Before Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the pad,
There was nada happenin', now that's pretty bad.
The wood stove was hung up in that stocking routine,
In hopes that the Fat Boy would soon make the scene.
With our stomachs packed with tacos and beer,
My girl and I crashed on the couch for some cheer.
When out in the yard there arose such a racket,
I ran for the door and pulled on my jacket.
I saw a large bro' on a '56 Pan
Wearin' black leathers, a cap, and boots (cool biker, man).
He hauled up the bars on that bikeful of sacks,
And that Pan hit the roof like it was running on tracks.
I couldn't help gawking, the old guy had class.
But I had to go in -- I was freezing my ass.
Down through the stovepipe he fell with a crash,
And out of the stove he came dragging his stash.
With a smile and some glee he passed out the loot,
A new jacket for her and some parts for my scoot.
He patted her fanny and shook my right hand,
Spun on his heel and up the stovepipe he ran.
From up on the roof came a great deal of thunder,
As that massive V-twin ripped the silence asunder.
With beard in the wind, he roared off in the night,
Shouting, "Have a cool Yule, and to all a good ride!"
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the pad,
There was nada happenin', now that's pretty bad.
The wood stove was hung up in that stocking routine,
In hopes that the Fat Boy would soon make the scene.
With our stomachs packed with tacos and beer,
My girl and I crashed on the couch for some cheer.
When out in the yard there arose such a racket,
I ran for the door and pulled on my jacket.
I saw a large bro' on a '56 Pan
Wearin' black leathers, a cap, and boots (cool biker, man).
He hauled up the bars on that bikeful of sacks,
And that Pan hit the roof like it was running on tracks.
I couldn't help gawking, the old guy had class.
But I had to go in -- I was freezing my ass.
Down through the stovepipe he fell with a crash,
And out of the stove he came dragging his stash.
With a smile and some glee he passed out the loot,
A new jacket for her and some parts for my scoot.
He patted her fanny and shook my right hand,
Spun on his heel and up the stovepipe he ran.
From up on the roof came a great deal of thunder,
As that massive V-twin ripped the silence asunder.
With beard in the wind, he roared off in the night,
Shouting, "Have a cool Yule, and to all a good ride!"
Tranadrivebeltmission
Well I have changed my mind about this a dozen times. This morning I called Jireh Cycles to order my belt drive under the assumption that the transmissions weren't going to be in anytime soon. Just for giggles before ordering the belt drive I had the salesman check and low and behold the transmissions came in today. So I ordered it while I could get it so I didn't have to go through this again. Anyway it should be in my hot little hands in 5 to 7 business days. I can't wait!
And buy a shirt or make a donation today! This is getting expensive! Also, the new t shirt design will be up sometime tomorrow if ya want to wait. I have a Xmas special that will run until after Dec 25.
And buy a shirt or make a donation today! This is getting expensive! Also, the new t shirt design will be up sometime tomorrow if ya want to wait. I have a Xmas special that will run until after Dec 25.
Happy Retirement Kim!!
A blogger I read religiously over the last year Kim du Toit retired on November 30. I particularly enjoyed his weekly post on Friday called the pre weekend blah where he would point out his favorite vehicle, weapon and female from a particular place or time. The best description I can come up for Mr. du Toit is worldly. He could post on almost any topic and speak intelligently. I will sincerely miss his blogging, however I will take solace in knowing his blog will remain on line for some time just not updated anymore. I have a lot left to read to have read it all. So, in your honor sir, my one and only pre weekend blah
Favorite weapon....
Favorite Vehicle...
Favorite weapon....
I know I know, unreliable inaccurate on a good day and kicks like a constipated mule. But it was widely used in ww2 and used by the treasury dept. during prohibition and consequently used by gangsters of the same era. Plus w/100 rounds of .45 on full auto this piece for me carries enough romance to overlook the flaws.
Favorite Vehicle...
The Dodge Power Wagon and I don't mean that junk that came out in the late 70's or early 80's I am talking about the 50's version the one widely used in Korea and Viet Nam. Not fast but house pulling torque and 5th grade simplicity made this a reliable go anywhere do anything vehicle. From ambulances to school buses everything has been built on this platform.
Favorite Starlet...
In honor of Kim du Toit, Rita Hayworth. I don't know much about starlets of this era and can't say I ever sat through a movie in which she acted but she, like my sweetheart, is a red head and that's all I need to know(wink wink, nudge nudge).
So if you get the chance check out his blog www.theothersideofkim.com and buy one of his Nation of Riflemen tshirts if the link is still up.
Monday, December 1, 2008
You May Be a Firefighter If....
(Some of these only volunteers will get)
You have ever juggled hot coals with your gloves.
If your house is on fire and you still respond to the station
You have ever slept in a hosebed.
You take pride in the fact that you haven't washed your gear in years.
Ifyou can hear that the siren will go off even before your dog notices it.
If you have ever been awakened with a CO2 extinguisher
You have ever spent 10 min trying to force open a door only to have someone come along and open it by turning the handle.
You've ever clung to the air horn chord for dear life because the driver is insane.
You have ever played jingle bells at Xmas time on the air horns to clear traffic.
You have ever said, "she's hot tonight" and not been talking about a girl.
You have ever stomped out a fire with your boots because you couldn't wait for water.
You are caught on the back of a truck with your girlfriend or wife in the middle of something and the page goes out for a call.
If the smell of a fire excites you more than sex does.
You really think that rusty old hydrant looks good in the garden.
You can blame the 10 lbs that you've gained on the food cooked at the station.
If you play with the fire toys more than your child does.
You've ever felt like a ghost-buster while operating a water-vac
You get excited over the color red and the smell of diesel
You can tell what type of fire it is by the smell of smoke 10 miles away.
You have ever been airborne without an aircraft and water was your thrust.
You double your weight every time you go on a job
You have ever called a person found after a fire a "crispy critter"
You have ever walked 3 miles into the woods in 100 degree heat in full turnout gear and a 5 gal or more water can strapped on your back just to put out a fire.
You carry enough in your car to extinguish a minor blaze.
When you go to rent a movie, and they insist on getting Backdraft EVERY TIME!
If a great stop has nothing do with a moving vehicle.
The microwave goes off and you run out of the house thinking it was your pager.
You walk into the station with you belt on and someone yells here comes batman
If nine out of the ten toys your child receives for Christmas are fire trucks
If you wash your Fire Truck more than your personal vehicle.
You call your friend in Maryland, you live in Nevada, and get jealous and turned on at the same time when he gets toned out
Your idea of a good time involves soaking the new probies.
You lay out your clothes from that day so if there is a call at night you can find them quickly.
You ever cursed out someone for armor-alling the seats to make them look nice.
You roll around in anything that just burned to make your new gear look old.
If assembling a mile and a half of hose to catch fire running up hill is a good day.
All your friends give you t-shirts from their departments for your birthday, Christmas, anniversary, etc.
If your wife voluntarily chooses the lumpy side of the bed to avoid being trampled in route to a call!
Your wife/girlfriend has learned to duck and cover when she hears the pager go off for fear of being run down
If you had to extricate someone by cutting the car doors off on one side and realized there was nothing wrong with the doors on the other side
If you have more toy fire trucks than your kids do.
You take your other half out on a date to the fire house/hall.
If you want to keep the fire truck at your house just so that you can be the one to drive it!
When you wish some Fragrance manufacturer would bottle the burnt smell after a fire and used as a men's spray cologne.
Your idea of ventilation is done with a chainsaw and not a bag-valve-mask.
You have a wreck with the fire chief on the way to the fire trying to beat him there
You've been called a nozzle hog.
You respond to the fire station during a thunder storm - in case there's a fire started by lightening.
You stay in town during the 4th of July - in case there's a fire started by fireworks.
You refer to a room at 1300 F as "Toasty".
You respond to sound better than Pavlov's Dog.
The term "Hard Suction" doesn't make you chuckle
If your idea of a water fight includes a 100ft. tower with dual monitors, and several shots of 2.5 inch lines
If "humping hose" doesn't excite you.
You've ever stood on a street corner holding a bunker boot asking for donations
You monitor other city's fire dispatch and miss a call for your own.
If someone starts reciting movie lines from "Backdraft" at a fire.
You have ever had a heated debate over the color of firetrucks.
You take great joy in smashing the windows of a car parked in a fire zone or in front of a hydrant.
You always wear red suspenders.
You carry enough in your pockets to give the Swiss army knives competition.
Your Own vehicle has more lights than a Christmas tree
You find yourself living at the fire department 365 days a year!
If you have more pagers than than money in your wallet.
If you have ever woken up thinking your pager went off and as you look at it, it goes off
If you have ever dried your gloves on the trucks exhaust
When you take all of your important stuff (like wallets and pagers) out of your pockets before going to a training involving a portable tank.
You eat till you're asleep, then sleep till you eat.
You spend more time on a holiday with you're fellow firefighter than you do with you're family.
You refer to yourself as Satan and the fire as your house
You run towards a dangerous situation instead of away
If you ever said that real fire trucks/engines are RED DAMMIT!!!!
If you are running in the opposite direction of everyone else
When you are the mother of the bride and you tell everyone in the wedding party, nobody moves when the pagers go off during the ceremony.
You have ever taken 10 or more showers in 1 day.
"Climbing the corporate ladder" has nothing to do with career advancement.
Your work gear makes you sound like Darth Vader
All the shirts you own say you are a firefighter
You talk about alcohol foams and you are not referring to the head of your beer.
You have ever dressed from head to foot in rubber and it was not a sexual experience.
All of your calenders have every third day circled.
If you collect fire helmets and hang them on your bedroom wall and so far have one of each color.
You always wear red suspenders
You ever tried to patent a 911 blocker with the phone company
If you have ever tested your gloves by putting a fuzzie out on your hand.
As usual if there are any I missed feel free to leave a comment. Or if there is one you don't understand I will get an explanation!
You have ever juggled hot coals with your gloves.
If your house is on fire and you still respond to the station
You have ever slept in a hosebed.
You take pride in the fact that you haven't washed your gear in years.
Ifyou can hear that the siren will go off even before your dog notices it.
If you have ever been awakened with a CO2 extinguisher
You have ever spent 10 min trying to force open a door only to have someone come along and open it by turning the handle.
You've ever clung to the air horn chord for dear life because the driver is insane.
You have ever played jingle bells at Xmas time on the air horns to clear traffic.
You have ever said, "she's hot tonight" and not been talking about a girl.
You have ever stomped out a fire with your boots because you couldn't wait for water.
You are caught on the back of a truck with your girlfriend or wife in the middle of something and the page goes out for a call.
If the smell of a fire excites you more than sex does.
You really think that rusty old hydrant looks good in the garden.
You can blame the 10 lbs that you've gained on the food cooked at the station.
If you play with the fire toys more than your child does.
You've ever felt like a ghost-buster while operating a water-vac
You get excited over the color red and the smell of diesel
You can tell what type of fire it is by the smell of smoke 10 miles away.
You have ever been airborne without an aircraft and water was your thrust.
You double your weight every time you go on a job
You have ever called a person found after a fire a "crispy critter"
You have ever walked 3 miles into the woods in 100 degree heat in full turnout gear and a 5 gal or more water can strapped on your back just to put out a fire.
You carry enough in your car to extinguish a minor blaze.
When you go to rent a movie, and they insist on getting Backdraft EVERY TIME!
If a great stop has nothing do with a moving vehicle.
The microwave goes off and you run out of the house thinking it was your pager.
You walk into the station with you belt on and someone yells here comes batman
If nine out of the ten toys your child receives for Christmas are fire trucks
If you wash your Fire Truck more than your personal vehicle.
You call your friend in Maryland, you live in Nevada, and get jealous and turned on at the same time when he gets toned out
Your idea of a good time involves soaking the new probies.
You lay out your clothes from that day so if there is a call at night you can find them quickly.
You ever cursed out someone for armor-alling the seats to make them look nice.
You roll around in anything that just burned to make your new gear look old.
If assembling a mile and a half of hose to catch fire running up hill is a good day.
All your friends give you t-shirts from their departments for your birthday, Christmas, anniversary, etc.
If your wife voluntarily chooses the lumpy side of the bed to avoid being trampled in route to a call!
Your wife/girlfriend has learned to duck and cover when she hears the pager go off for fear of being run down
If you had to extricate someone by cutting the car doors off on one side and realized there was nothing wrong with the doors on the other side
If you have more toy fire trucks than your kids do.
You take your other half out on a date to the fire house/hall.
If you want to keep the fire truck at your house just so that you can be the one to drive it!
When you wish some Fragrance manufacturer would bottle the burnt smell after a fire and used as a men's spray cologne.
Your idea of ventilation is done with a chainsaw and not a bag-valve-mask.
You have a wreck with the fire chief on the way to the fire trying to beat him there
You've been called a nozzle hog.
You respond to the fire station during a thunder storm - in case there's a fire started by lightening.
You stay in town during the 4th of July - in case there's a fire started by fireworks.
You refer to a room at 1300 F as "Toasty".
You respond to sound better than Pavlov's Dog.
The term "Hard Suction" doesn't make you chuckle
If your idea of a water fight includes a 100ft. tower with dual monitors, and several shots of 2.5 inch lines
If "humping hose" doesn't excite you.
You've ever stood on a street corner holding a bunker boot asking for donations
You monitor other city's fire dispatch and miss a call for your own.
If someone starts reciting movie lines from "Backdraft" at a fire.
You have ever had a heated debate over the color of firetrucks.
You take great joy in smashing the windows of a car parked in a fire zone or in front of a hydrant.
You always wear red suspenders.
You carry enough in your pockets to give the Swiss army knives competition.
Your Own vehicle has more lights than a Christmas tree
You find yourself living at the fire department 365 days a year!
If you have more pagers than than money in your wallet.
If you have ever woken up thinking your pager went off and as you look at it, it goes off
If you have ever dried your gloves on the trucks exhaust
When you take all of your important stuff (like wallets and pagers) out of your pockets before going to a training involving a portable tank.
You eat till you're asleep, then sleep till you eat.
You spend more time on a holiday with you're fellow firefighter than you do with you're family.
You refer to yourself as Satan and the fire as your house
You run towards a dangerous situation instead of away
If you ever said that real fire trucks/engines are RED DAMMIT!!!!
If you are running in the opposite direction of everyone else
When you are the mother of the bride and you tell everyone in the wedding party, nobody moves when the pagers go off during the ceremony.
You have ever taken 10 or more showers in 1 day.
"Climbing the corporate ladder" has nothing to do with career advancement.
Your work gear makes you sound like Darth Vader
All the shirts you own say you are a firefighter
You talk about alcohol foams and you are not referring to the head of your beer.
You have ever dressed from head to foot in rubber and it was not a sexual experience.
All of your calenders have every third day circled.
If you collect fire helmets and hang them on your bedroom wall and so far have one of each color.
You always wear red suspenders
You ever tried to patent a 911 blocker with the phone company
If you have ever tested your gloves by putting a fuzzie out on your hand.
As usual if there are any I missed feel free to leave a comment. Or if there is one you don't understand I will get an explanation!
Transmission Becomes Belt Drive
Well I have come to the conclusion that Jireh Cycles will not get the transmissions back in stock before the new year. With this in mind, I will be ordering a Ultima street style belt drive tomorrow at first light. It would have been my next purchase anyway so it makes no real difference . It's is something I have to have to complete my drive line and the price is the same.
mmm....chrome.
mmm....chrome.
And I Thought It Was Just Me!
Man says God ordered him to ram vehicle at 100 mph
SAN ANTONIO -A man who rammed his truck into a woman's vehicle on a highway early Friday told authorities he crashed into her while going more than 100 mph because God told him "she needed to be taken off the road."
The truck rear-ended the car on U.S. Highway 281, both vehicles spun across a median then came to a stop along a barrier in the opposite lanes. Both drivers suffered only minor injuries.
"He just said God said she wasn't driving right, and she needed to be taken off the road," Bexar County Sheriff's Office spokesman Kyle Coleman said in the online edition of the San Antonio Express-News. "God must have been with them, 'cause any other time, the severity of this crash, it would have been a fatal."
The pickup driver did not tell police how the woman was driving. Police could not find alcohol or drugs in either driver.
A psychiatric evaluation has been ordered for a man.
SAN ANTONIO -A man who rammed his truck into a woman's vehicle on a highway early Friday told authorities he crashed into her while going more than 100 mph because God told him "she needed to be taken off the road."
The truck rear-ended the car on U.S. Highway 281, both vehicles spun across a median then came to a stop along a barrier in the opposite lanes. Both drivers suffered only minor injuries.
"He just said God said she wasn't driving right, and she needed to be taken off the road," Bexar County Sheriff's Office spokesman Kyle Coleman said in the online edition of the San Antonio Express-News. "God must have been with them, 'cause any other time, the severity of this crash, it would have been a fatal."
The pickup driver did not tell police how the woman was driving. Police could not find alcohol or drugs in either driver.
A psychiatric evaluation has been ordered for a man.
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